Thursday, May 24, 2007

Red Blondehead Presents: The Search for the Next Snarky Blonde

I've been feeling rather despondent this week, what with my two favorite blondes (Leah and Veronica Mars, natch) departing for countries abroad and the Great Television in the Sky respectively. After listlessly roaming the halls of RB Headquarters and throwing myself a brief but satisfying pity party, an idea for a more positive course of action developed. What I really needed was a Substitute Leah! The search for suitable candidates began immediately. Now we have entered the audition process, to which you shall bear witness.

Meet the first candidate.

Jordan is currently serving as the Secret Assistant to the Regional Mascot at Red Blondehead Co. and he's interested in moving up within the company. While not a natural blonde, he's committed to doing what it takes to earn the Substitute Leah position. His greatest strength: pinky fingers of steel. His greatest weakness: working too hard.

And now begins the written portion of his audition.

The Impending Ordination of Bottletree - And Why It Will Pwn Everyone

What I'm talking about is Dan Deacon. His album just came out last week, and he's playing at Bottletree next Tuesday. Obviously, relevance abounds here people, so listen up.

The first time I saw a picture of Dan Deacon, I was unsure what to expect musically. He wears oversized spectacles that appear to be fashioned from many pieces of colored tape, he sports shirts featuring various Looney Tunes (a brand we all know to have long ago slipped into the domain of trailer-people), and in general cultivates the look of a person with some special developmental needs.

So I thought, "Hey, Wesley Willis was kinda funny, maybe this guy is too." I learned immediately that this was a gross underestimation on my part. There is an element of silliness in the lyrics and vocal delivery, but his awesomely danceable electropop is quite seriously legitimate. And just real good.

It's almost always inherently fun and catchy like "The Crystal Cat," whose sawtooth synth sounds like M83 with a belly full of red Kool-Aid. And occasionally it veers into downright beautiful, like "Big Milk," which would have been comfortably at home on Enjoy Your Rabbit.

In live shows, he hovers and gyrates over a nest of pedals, toy keyboards, vocoders, and myriad electronic noisemakers retrieved from dumpsters. And from what I gather from pictures, you should be practicing your sexiest-while-still-indie dance moves, because it will be a Girl Talk-type affair where folks get pulled on stage to shake it with him.

Don't sleep on this dude. The show is next Tuesday, so there is the risk of people attending Animal Collective wanting to take a night off, but I can assure you that would be a poor decision. Don't dare miss Dan Deacon.

Dan Deacon - Crystal Cat
Dan Deacon - Big Milk

And thus concludes the written portion. So what do you think? He certainly wins points for overall blog style, plus the blonde wig complements his fake stache nicely. But can he sing all of "The Weight" by The Band? That's an important skill for the Substitute Leah to possess. But at this point Jordan is looking like a possible forerunner. We shall see.

ETA: I think this blog may have confused some people regarding Leah leaving for countries abroad. Perhaps I should have stated more clearly that she's not moving to Europe, but she went there on vacation for a few weeks.


Blogger William said...

You DO know that he's auditioning for a choral group at each stop on his tour, right? 4 local girls, 4 local guys, and the chorus to Wham City.

This should be a beautiful show.

5:59 PM  

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